Only Him/Tribal Nature (May 25)

So the poem that I wanted to post this week, Only Him was a bit short so I decided to post two this week

Only Him

If you hear my thoughts
Then you obviously know nothing about me.
You say you know me like the back of your hand,
And yet I can only share with you my thoughts of fake.
You’ve brought me to this edge,
Holding hands, pushing me forward with you,
Saying that you know this is what I want,
Saying that you know I wouldn’t rather be with him.

But you don’t know,
You don’t know the vines that twist,
Turning around my heart,
To face the one that I truly desire.

Deep, blood red thoughts of passionate craving
Persistently press my chest,
Suffocating the innocent, silent thoughts
That say I only want him.

That deep blue that runs through my body,
Breaking the chain of the peach fabric
That covers me,
A fabric that doesn’t even keep me warm anymore,
Because this mountain-sized hill you’ve brought me to climb,
Doesn’t warm my slow-beating heart,
And you’re body only adds more to the suffocation of ill-fitting skin
That I hate.
Because he isn’t touching it.

I want him to touch me.
I want him to grab my other hand and pull me away,
Towards the warmth of the jungle below.
So I can return these vicious vines to their place,
So he can heal the pricks that point their
Poisonous pains toward my soul.
I only want him.

—

Tribal Nature

Find truth in the beauty of nature’s eye,
Living in light of those that brightly shine.
We sing the joys of those that have fallen,
Yet give no attention to those that follow.
We see the darkness that destroys our peace,
And do nothing but sit and wait in endless hate.

We watch and wait as they fall with hate.
We let the path that follows take our path to the eye,
The hawk that leads his servants, pretending to come in peace.
Yet, in his eye there the glint of evil does shine,
Those that march forward with him do follow,
The bodies that they leave, lost and fallen.

And those that leave the battle, fallen,
Do not hold in their heart this burning hate,
Living to learn to not follow,
Every order that the hawk gives with his evil eye.
They are the ones that do shine,
Learning to live and love with peace.

Yet, it will take ages for the nature to bring peace,
Taking away from the ground the littered fallen.
They learn to grow and live with the light that can shine,
Even if such pain should cause hate.
And soon the hawk that lives in the tree so high with his sharp eye,
Will caw and call his orders again to follow.

And as those lost in darkness follow,
They fight and fright, unable to see the peace
They live in too much fear of the eye,
Too scared each move they make will cause the fallen,
To the come strong with hate,
And defeat them with light that will shine.

And soon that light does shine,
Defeating those that do so follow,
The orders of hate.
But they were not taken without peace,
They did not revenge the fallen,
They only got rid of the eye.

 

© Ashlea Gable, 2012

Preach [May 15]

i used to think i wanted to record it all on film, video
so i could press pause and rewind to another time
and allow the memories to dance like daffodils in the breeze before me until it slowly became a reality

i used to want to return to birthday parties at the age of three, just the definition of purity and innocence
taking part in initiations to become a part of the in-crowd because being ostracized at such a young age wasn’t allowed
and i apologize if you don’t want to hear my whole life story but humor me
laugh at my silly jokes even if they’re not funny, listen to my words and cradle them with care until they become an extension of your basic understanding
believe that what i have to say isn’t just mindless rambling

i used to want to return to childhoods spent with hakuna matata
(and if you don’t know what that means i ask that you re-evaluate your life but that isn’t the point)
make memories in the form of ice cream cakes, chutes and ladders, and falling on my butt because i can’t roller skate
i wanted to fly kites and kiss my mother on her still then young face at night
i didn’t want my life to change overnight

i didn’t want to wake up one day and realize that i have responsibilities
i didn’t want to reach across atmospheres toward a sky that i thought was so high i wouldn’t be able to brush my fingertips across it even if i was standing on my tip toes
below the stamp of seniority on my skin resided a girl who didn’t want to sleep and find herself facing feet stepping into doors she didn’t want open yet

i used to want to be a child forever

and i think at some point everyone wants the same

until we realize that that isn’t in the rules of this game
of life in order to win you need to live
like you have nothing else to live for
live for the knowledge you’ll gain over a lifetime
live for the flowers that bud bringing beauty out of death in the spring time
live for the opportunity to write yourself in memoirs and sell them overpriced on e-bay
live for the excitement of being able to say you took a breath approximately twenty three thousand forty times a day
live for having modern day opportunities and modern day technologies
facebook, twitter, post pictures of who you are and who you will grow to be on instagram with no apologies
live for the ability to scream at strangers because you’re just that enthusiastic about life
preach to them about how hype we as humans need to be about growing
out of seashells on the beach and becoming whales
living larger than life
living larger than this shell of a skeleton that we call our bodies
bringing about change and personality that will only brighten our individuality

it’s okay to hold on to those good and bad memories that make us into who we are in our adulthood
hold them in the crevices of your ribcage
allow them to sleep, that portion of your life complete, against the lullaby of your heart beat
break away from that younger version of you that clings to your feet
trying to hold you back
trying to keep you from realizing that
at some point in life all we need to do is eat. sleep. preach. and be enthusiastic.

 

© Shae Smile, 2012

I Want to Divide by Zero

X + X = Y so 1 + 1 = 2
Or maybe
1 + 1 = 2 so X + X = Y

Consonance is the
Repetition of
Consonants,
But mnemonic devices
Don’t always work because
Assonance is the
Repetition of
Vowel sounds.

Socialists are demons,
And the USA always wins…
But we don’t talk about
Vietnam
Unless we’re honoring the
Troops
Because we’re
Patriots here.

I want to know
Who made up these
Rules
Only to beg me to
Break them
By encouraging
Individuality,
So long as it doesn’t
Break bounds.

But I want to divide by zero
So that 2 can equal 1 because
To be an Individual
Apparently means to
Stand out from the Crowd.
But if we’re all Individuals,
Aren’t we all the
Same thing?

They tell us to make groups of two
(the Leader and the Follower)
But they way they enforce it,
We all become the same thing
So you haven’t divided the people
By Anything.

And I know you’re not supposed to mix
Social Sciences and Mathematics as I have
But I wonder, why the hell not?
I wonder who made up this Rule too,
Along with the one which Declares that
I cannot divide by zero.

I want to divide by zero
So that 2 can equal 1 because
I crave structure,
Like an anal retentive parrot
Calling out “Alignment” and “Order.”
Yet I question the rules before me
Put in place by a
Somewhat orderly society,
And question them endlessly.
But it all comes from the
Same desire
And so I remain divided
By nothing at all.

I want to control my destiny
Yet daily give it over to a greater Mind than
You or I
And it still serves the same purpose.
This is why I have no qualms
Trusting the two because on
My better days they are
One in the same,
And on my worst, well it
Wouldn’t matter, anyway.

Jackson Brown cried for
Somebody to ask
The Men in the shadows
WHY
He meant about war
But it’s all one in the same.
These Rules and Regulations
Trying to send us
Two messages but ultimately serve
One purpose.

If even these Men, these Rule makers
Who say that I cannot divide by zero
So that 2 can equal 1
Send us two messages
Serving one purpose
Then why cannot I
Take these theories by their throats
And say, “You’re nothing.”

Why can’t we combine Social Sciences and Mathematics?
Because I do it every single day,
Crossing Boundaries and Breaking Chains
As if they were all one in the same,
And I find it works out in the end.

The interconnection is visible
Everywhere, yet these Laws and Theories
Sometimes act as if they are nowhere.
Like a well rehearsed act,
They throw their noses into the thickening air
Masking themselves and their purpose to appear
As if it were something too complex for me to
Understand.

They tell me I can’t divide by zero.
I say its okay, because I know
2 still equals 1 for me today.

© Rachel Finney, 2012